This week David and I drove out to have dinner with Joel in the new place he and Even moved into. It's in Los Feliz (it's actually a couple blocks from where Joe's new place was, which we were all painfully aware of) and it has a great porch for sitting and thinking and chilaxin'. He showed us the printer's proof of his book, A Paradox of Grace, that he's been researching, writing and designing for about 2 years now. It's incredible, it's a huge labor of love and effort. Every book he's read in this time has been purely research, every trip he's taken has been to the Washington DC photo archives,or to Vietnam to take his own pictures. So much of his time and energy have been focused on this project, and now, finally, here it is, I'm paging through it and dying to sit and really read it. The majority of the photos have never been published before, and a lot of them shock me. I feel after I read this book I'll get an understanging of American history like I was never given in school or from the news. It's a sort of chronicle of our war history, but looking at what we've done to become the dominate force in the world. I'm sure he could say it a million times better, and I'll probably be able to too, once I read it, but he's got a site up though it isn't finished, and he has a blog you can check out.

Joel has really inspired me, it made me remember how passionate I was about my senior thesis four years ago, and how I poured everything I was into it. I had a million books on conjoined twins and divorce, and I made so many drawings and wrote so many stories before I finally condensed it into this one little book. I remembered my show that I had in the garage, and I looked up photos of it, and was supprised how much I used to produce. I have to draw again! I have to find another creative project to love that can fuel me and join me with art and storytelling again. After vacation I hope, after our big celebration :)